Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

Donna:
Thank you for saying all of that to me. I just dont get it.

Maybe you are too real for him.
Maybe you are too good for him.
Maybe you are too pretty for him.
Maybe he needs to grow up a little.

Even scared people can at least communicate.

M, sorry you are hurting.

Debo Hobo:
"Girl I went through this just a few months ago, I had the ring and everything. And all of a sudden it just fizzled."

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE GUYS?

I am trying my best to remember that it is HIS LOSS. But right now, I am just confused. And I am hurting. I don't understand!

I am so glad Eric commented on this, he always drops some heavy thought provoking words, when he's not boing boing around.

Girl I went through this just a few months ago, I had the ring and everything. And all of a sudden it just fizzled.

All I can say is hold your head high, pamper and take care of you. Let him fly away, he will realize what he left behind and will return and you need to be sure you will still be the strong, independent and courageous foxy lady he first met. That is if you still want him if he returns. I would definitely put the over nights on hold until ya'll gain an honest commitment.

If he doesn't return too bad so sad but it is his lose not yours. You have an awesome family in the real world and on the net so we are all here for you, but more importantly YOU NEED TO BE THERE FOR YOU.

We love ya XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Bobby:
I hope so.

Momo:
Thank you. I love you.

I go with he's a judgmental son of a bitch and say that you're better off without him. A man who is really worth it will love you no matter what your story is. A man who is really worth it will see you for who you are RIGHT NOW. Trust me. This is one thing I know for certain, from experience.

Your's too. But we shall rise again!!!!!

Bobby:
OUCH. Honey, I feel YOUR pain.

I'm sorry to hear this Meleah and I KNOW how you must feel. My last serious girlfriend? I cooked her dinner, taught her son how to read, paid may of her bills, treated her like a princess, drew her bath, washed her clothes, bought her tampons and FREAKING LOVED HER LIKE NOBODY ELSE. She dumped me for a multi-million dollar lawyer who beat her and knocked her teeth out. Six months later she wanted me back. I said NO.

Now I trust nobody.

Jay:
"If he doesn’t love you, you’re wasting your time anyway, huh?"
true.


Babs:
IT WAS HURTFUL
IT WAS COLD
IT WAS MEAN

I do think the relationship is over and THAT HURTS too.

Agg:
I know I didnt do anything wrong. But Im just sick of all this.
I am praying he misses me and realizes how good he had it with me, f only for a few months.

Olga:
Okay.

DJBob:
I dont know about that.

Patty:
Yeah Yeah

Beth:
Im sick of paying my dues. And now I just want to crawl under a rock.

DCR:
thanks anyway

Maria:
Babs rules

Eddie:
Santa can go suck it.

Awake:
HA HA HA
your comment to mooog

Urban:
That made a lot of sense thank you.

You are a great person. I wanted to say that first. I have been absent as well, in terms of getting on your blog. So no worries there... life happens.

Here is the deal... You sound like a wonderful woman to be with. I mean damn, so easy going in terms of relationships and how to treat a man. I think you are a winner. You are someone who should be valued and treated well.

Now... after saying all that... I see you got the committee going on in your head... trying to figure out what to do... questioning who you are as a person and what you've done to deserve or cause these recent events....

Here is the deal... He is going to be who he is. He is going to react the way that he is going to react. What you need to do as a person is be true to you. Your story, if it scares him off, is still your story. If you are building a relationship with someone then it is bound to come out at some point. The man is grown. He asked for that info. If he couldn't handle it then it is on him to deal with it. I know you get the short end of the stick by not getting that time that you were enjoying. But wouldn't you prefer him to run now than run when you were even deeper? Wouldn't it be best to know that he isn't strong enough to be that dude? Too weak to get over his own insecurities and you knowing that you were always true about who you were as a person?

I'm just saying... keep your head up. It's best that someone walk away for you being the true you rather than sticking around with you for not showing your true self. (i hope that makes sense)

I agree with what Selma, and Oscar said. They both said it better then I could, so just read their comments again. ;o)

You are one in a million!

(Hugs)

PS - @moooooog35 The password is... Idon'tlikehandjobs

What,s that saying when it looks to good to be true . My heart goes out to you . p.s Don.t be pissed at SANTA p.s.s Hope a little humor helps

high five babs! you said a mouthful!! :)

I got nothin'. Sorry. So, ditto what Speedy said. ;-)

I too, couldn't tell you what he might be thinking having been with my high school sweetheart for over 25 years now but the one thing I do believe is not to play games when and if he calls. Don't wait for that second call, don't not answer the phone etc. Just talk. If he doesn't call in a reasonable amount of time, take the hint that it probably means it is over and call him and tell him you want to at least talk and that you need closure. Take it from there, say what you need to say but don't plan what that will be ahead of time. Well, that is my advice for what it is worth. Meantime, you deserve the best, you have paid your dues over and over and it is time for good things to happen. If this isn't "the one" then he will certainly come along at some point. A great person like you cannot go unnoticed forever!

Focus on your self for a few days, just like today. Soon you will have your answers whether they are good or bad.

Lets have another Lunch!!!!

Oh dear... try not to read more into this than what he is telling you. And TAKE CARE of yourself. XOXOX

Jeez Meleah.
I am sorry that you are in turmoil again. You deserve so much better. I took some real balls to lay yourself out there and for him not to reach out to you is wrong. I won't pretend to understand or rationalize his response. I am certainly not one to pass judgement or give advice, but I would listen to the mutitude of suggestions you are getting here. He may be a good guy and trying to grasp your story may have been hard for him to deal with or perhaps he doesn't know how to respond. Regardless of how he reacts, you did nothing wrong and you should hold your head high. I feel that, if he is as good as you indicated earlier, he will come to his senses and make the first move. If not, screw 'em. Don't sell yourself short. You will find happiness in life. If not with him, then with someone else.

I hope he wises up soon and realizes what he is missing.

My heart and prayers go out to you!

This is a hard one. I can only tell you how I would react if it were me. Firstly I too think that "You're a cool chick" is hardly a respectful and loving way to describe the woman you are supposed to love. Secondly, to say he needs to know more about you in order to get closer, listen to what you had to tell him and then not to contact you to reassure you, is extremely hurtful and somewhat cold. Then to tell you that he needs space! It would be laughable if it wasn't so hurtful. It smacks of a man who feels more for himself than of others. I would definitely take a long, hard look at what I want, or expect from a relationship.

I am not advising you Meleah, just telling you what I would feel, and possibly do, in the same situation.

His reaction would definitely make me see him in a new light, and I would possibly see this as the beginning of the end of a relationship for me. It is not what I would want. I expect a mature man who doesn't shy away from what he sees as a possible complication. A man who is prepared to be there through good and bad times. A man to whom my feelings are important. I expect nothing more, and nothing less than I would give to him. I would then weigh the situation up and make my decision.

I think, deep down, you suspected that he wouldn't handle it well. We do all have that inner voice, we just have to learn to listen to it more.

I also would have been asking all those questions you asked, but I would listen to the inner voice for the answers. I agree that to give it a little time is advisable, but don't just go back for more of the same. You are worth far too much to just put up with, and accept what he wants!

Only you can decide what you want out of a relationship. We don't all want the same things so you should just be true to yourself. You will be the happier for it.

Honey, there is only one way to behave at times like this, and that is to be yourself.

If he loves you, whatever little crisis he has going at the moment, the ONLY way he'll come back to you and things will be ok again, is if you haven't changed, you haven't done anything out of character, you haven't tried to be what you think he wants you to be.

If he doesn't love you, you're wasting your time anyway, huh?

Many hugs to you. It ain't easy, making sense of human relationships, that's for damn sure.

Amy:
Thanks doll face.

Valerie:
I am too tired to try to figure it out anymore. I'm going with idea that he is scared, but does love me, and he will come CRAWLING BACK to me. And if not? It's his 'fucking loss" -Per Ingrid!

"but you are still the same wonderful, beautiful, honest and caring person you were before you told him."

Yeah. I am. Thank you for saying so! You are the bestest!
xoxoxoxoxox

I don't know what to tell ya Mel. Just sit and wait I guess. Maybe he needs time, but you are still the same wonderful, beautiful, honest and caring person you were before you told him. If he wants space, it's his right and his choice as well as his loss.

Everyone else is much more help than I could be, but I wanted to say that I'm pulling for you and sending good vibes. Hang in there!

Michelle:
THANK YOU.

That is what one of his friends said, and that is what my girlfriend Tiffany said, and she has been on like a million dates with us so she has seen us in action first hand. I am going with BELIEVING THAT.

I sent you the password. Of course I trust you.

Leslie:
Right back at ya baby.
Wish you were here on a day like today.
This would have been The Perfect week for you to come and stay here in NJ with me!

HUGS MELZ

Ummm- can I be the voice of reason and a positive note. Perhaps dude is in love and it scares him. Perhaps he is just using you telling him your story for an excuse to take a breather. MAYBE he is just really scared that you are the one.

Where is this password protected post- send password. It'll give me some decent to read tonight when I get in.

Ingrid:
You are damn right. It will be HIS loss. And soon if he doesn't figure out how to 'deal' with this and right quick! I will NOT be sitting around pining for weeks.
No fucking way.

PS: You are totally awesome and I love you for it.

Jen Jen:
I love you.
xoxox

Oscar stole my entire advice. :(

I'll just say DITTO to his.

many, many, many hugs.

I read Selma's response, and I want to say I agree with her 100%

You are still the same person you always were. HE needs to realize that all by himself.

There are no rules, Meleah, no predetermined steps to follow. Honesty will always be the best policy. If he doesn't want to be with you, then he wasn't the right one for you. And it's his fucking loss...

Richard W:
I like when you talk about yourself.
It helps me identify things in myself!
:)

Skipper:
I love you so very much.
xoxox

Mimi:
"You did nothing wrong."
I KNOW! Thank you! Thank You.

" Don’t internalize his apparent rejection at all. It really is not about you."
Yeah I agree with that. This is HIS issue. Not mine.

*Thanks for the offer to listen to me*

Cathy WMDA:
Fear is a powerful thing aint it?
Women (especially us Libras) are NUTS playing the 'What If' game all day in our heads. Its exhausting being a woman!

Mimi (again):
OKAY!
:)
The Maybe's are driving me insane

The Rev:
Dood. This blows.
But I shall heed your advice!

Mark:
EXACTLY.
And yeah.
NO BOOTY CALLS!

Teeni:
"In my opinion, he’s just a little surprised and will come to his senses."
Okay. Good. Then I am running with that thought.

Manoj:
"One way would be to say - ok - let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, and a couple of days. "

Thats the mind set I am trying to work with. Its less painful that way too. I am just telling myself he is scared and he needs space, but when he realizes he misses me, then we will see if I am willing to take him back. If he is capable of having a real conversation.


l'uragano:
HA HA HA HA
I love you woman. I really do.

Oscar:
Yeah, And if he cant accept my PAST is just that MY PAST then fuck him. I am an awesome person NOW. I am better for having lived all of that. So there!

Right?

Moooooog35:
“IwantMoogsChildrenEvenThoughIKnowHeHadAVasectomy”

THAT IS THE PASSWORD! Ha ha ha ha

K, I've tried all the passwords I can think of but can't get into that post.

"ILuvMoog"

Nope.

"Hot4Moog"

Nada.

"IwantMoogsChildrenEvenThoughIKnowHeHadAVasectomy"

Man. I really thought that last one was it.

Nevermind, then.

I'm good.

Relax. This is all still new. Give him a bit of space. Youboth need time to get your heads together. This happens.

also remember he fell for you as you are now. Not then. He knows that. Doesn't he? Knowing some of your story, i might >gasp< a bit. But the woman you are now is past that. We all have things past.

:)
Cheer up. Play a little hard to get too. Pulling back has always worked well for me.

i changed my mind. i'm with Dazd: egg his house onhh and his car!

I think that you've been given some good advice already, so I'll try not to repeat any of it! Here's what I think though - you did the right thing. While your past may be perceived as a lot to deal with, it's also one of the reasons why you are the person that you are today. If he wanted to know all about you, then by telling him everything you found out - up front - if he was able to handle it. Believe me, if you had made something up and then he found out at a later date, it would have been more painful for you, as your relationship would have progressed that much further.
I do agree that his attitude does baffle me, but it sounds like he is trying to process what he has been told, and is currently unable to be his previously nice self. There are two ways of looking at that. One way would be to say - ok - let's give him the benefit of the doubt, and a couple of days. The other way would be - hey - all of a sudden I am just a 'cool chick' and because of things that have happened to me in the past you suddenly no longer love me? In this scenario, you are better off without him.
You're doing the right thing - take care of yourself for now, and see what happens. You are a good human being, an exemplary mother, a loving daughter, and a good friend to boot! If these are not qualities that he is looking for, then the loss is his - oh, and I believe that the proper vernacular here is 'talk to the hand' ?
I really hope that things to work out for you Meleah, I really do. If he turns out to be a judgmental piece of trash, then I would take SoLow up on his offer and introduce them :o) Oh, and moog's post cracked me up to - I'm glad that he was able to put a smile on your face!!
Take care of yourself!

I don't think you should feel that you should have to "act" any certain way. I think it's fair for you to have been feeling what you are feeling. It's not easy to make yourself vulnerable like that and then get what seems like the cold shoulder. If YOU think he may be worth it, then when you next talk to him, maybe you should tell him how he made you feel and that you are fine with proceeding slowly. There's nothing wrong with that (and by going slow he will be getting to know you better and won't be able to resist falling head over heels for you). But let it be known that you aren't WAITING for ANY man after all this time. If he thinks there is a relationship worth having here then he is going to have to do his share as well. And that includes being there for you when you've made yourself vulnerable to him. In my opinion, he's just a little surprised and will come to his senses.

Sounds like you have thought this through from many perspectives which is good. At the end of the day, no game playing and open communication has to be the way to go. If he does call, the call is an indication that he wants to move forward or at least clear things up. When he calls it will be a great opportunity to schedule a meeting that is mutually convenient to both of you to discuss what has transpired, what he is feeling and what you are feeling.
He could make a booty call, if that is what it is and he is not willing to really sit down and talk then you have your answer. This is all about intentions and communication. Hang in there and enjoy your day at the spa! You are you because of you and if he is in your life or not in your life does not alter who you are.

Lordy....

Sorry you're in such a pickle!

I've had a few rough relationships in the past, and I've definitely had moments like this, where you're left completely stunned and disoriented (like a sucker punch to the jaw).

Over the years, I've learned the only response that works for me is to put on airs that I'm not particularly bothered by the whole matter (at least in the other person's presence). I don't like the idea of letting the other person know just how much control they may or may not be lording over me.

One more thing: Seriously lose the "maybes".
It will drive you bananas.

Slow down there and whatever you do don't over think it. We women are the worst as our brains go to very deep places. When hubby and I were dating he had a moment as well - (a couple actually) and for him what we discovered is it was fear driven.. Fear of it not working, fear of failing me, fear of intimacy and the list goes on and on... Just be patient and know that you are incredible. :)

ARggh. Good advice from all above.
My gut instincts: You are not over-reacting. You DID follow his lead appropriately (maybe a little fast but nonetheless you did follow HIS lead which I feel is appropriate for a woman). You also respected your own boundaries. You did nothing wrong.
After intimate nights together as you described, for a guy to say "You're a cool chick".....hmmm....That doesn't sound respectful or anywhere near the level of intimacy he offered you to begin with. And that would make me sad to hear.

You really have no choice but to give it time. I don't know what choice you had really. He asked for your story. You told him your story. Whatever you do, don't withhold now if he calls you again. Tell him how you feel. You've said it well here. This is not over-analyzing. It is normal to feel this way. But if the lines of communication are not open there is no hope at all. You can't give him what he WANTS to hear, neither should you.

You are a strong and beautiful woman.
Don't let one man's insecurities and playing attitude take that essence away from you. Don't internalize his apparent rejection at all.

It really is not about you.

I hope it works out because it had such promise. If it doesn't, we will all be sad for you but will be right here to listen.
If it does, we will be here too.

You have my email if you need to talk.

Girlfriend, go out and have the best spa day a girl can have - and remember the invite is always open to come out here. I can't claim to know anything about men - even though I have been married a total of 25 years (holy shit that is a long time). Just know that you are great wonderful and worth so much more. Then it becomes do you want him back instead of the other way around....

Okay, this is all huge. My vote goes for his being a little scared right now in terms of loss of his identity, fear of committment and the difficulty of processing such an instense life story. When you see yourself going down the road towards a major relationship it's probably natural to want to pull back a little. I think most of the big arguments my wife and I used to have in the early days were really about our fear of the intensity of our relationship. But now I'm talking about myself again.

l'uragano:
Agreed.

Betty:
Sending Password Now.

Maria:
What he did was mean. As far as I am concerned. You don't BEG someone to tell you their story to BE CLOSER and then BAIL.

WTF?

Dazd:
I am EXHAUSTED

RMH:
Okay. Deal.

When a person doesn't know what to do, due to fear/love/whatever, it is BEST to do NOTHING.

He stops reacting, and that could be a good thing - believe it or not.

Trust me, if he doesn't care about you, he wouldn't even bother to know you any deeper.

Don't analyze the situation further, Meleah. Take your mind off it, go shopping, get busy with your book, etc, things will fall into the right place by themselves.

Well damn...your schedule is already full. Late again, as usual. :D

You know...I agree with Michael as reading it wore me out. Maybe he feels the same right now...just needs to sort through it all. Give him time and he'll come to his senses.

If not, I can always learn him some respect. Or you could just egg his house. Your call.

hugs

well i'm going completely off the chart from all these answers, meleah.

inside your questions, i see your answers. it seems to me you already know what you need to do. you are a catch. any guy lucky enuf to have you should count his lucky stars daily.

you must do what your guts tell you to do. you don't have to listen to me. but here's my two cents. our lives are very similar, hon. childhood and all. after my ex-husband and i split, i was in the dating world for 11 years! and i was raising 2 kids alone.

11 years. why so long? i told myself, the childhood sucked. that's 18 years i can't get back. and because of that childhood i spent another 5 to 10 years making bad decisions.

so i decided, the one place i WOULD NOT compromise myself was in the dating world. i dated a lot of rejects before i met the man of my dreams. and as you know from reading my blog, we have been happily married now for close to six years.

i say, date yourself, meleah, as i see you're doing today with spa and sushi. that's what i spent a lot of my 11 year singleness doing. when you date yourself, you set the bar for the way you want to be treated.

as for this guy? he doesn't sound like the one for you, meleah. after you laid your soul bare to him, his actions were unkind and thoughtless. let him go cuz he's blocking you from meeting your real prince.

good luck, my beautiful girlfriend! ;)

Hang tight, something will happen, you'll get your answer soon. He's just acting totally weird. Ok I didn't read the other post. Can you send me the password for it. I'm at a loss for what's going on.

I do not believe in suppression of any sort. Be who you are now and always. Know whoyou are. Always.
If you know who you are, you will know the next step. If a few days go by and you want to know what's going on...call him. Ask him. Don't worry about being "that kind of girl."
I am very disappointed that he didn't call you and say he needed some space. I think that's slimy, making you call....

SoLow:
Moog is crazy hilarious.
All The Time.
I don't know how he does it!

"Although I’m not laughing at the thought of your nudes - that causes an entirely different emotional reaction…"

Well I sure hope so!!

Oh and "someone" said this which made me feel a lot better:

"You should NOT have lied about your story. Unfortunately it may have "made you two closer", and it may have been too close for him to handle."

I can live with that thought in my head for the day.

Laughter is definitely the best medicine...

Although I'm a bit pissed that Moog 1-upped me AGAIN!!! LMAO - that was classic!

Although I'm not laughing at the thought of your nudes - that causes an entirely different emotional reaction... :)

The Girl I Will Bring Home:
Thank you. I just might take you up on that offer!
xoxoxo

MOOOOG35!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD. And THANK YOU.
I really needed to laugh like that.
You are HYSTERICAL.
Maybe a little sick in the head, but nevertheless one of the funniest people ALIVE.

I went pee.

Oh..wait...Yellow Monday was yesterday.

Nevermind.

You always have the options of posting lewd videos and nude pictures of yourself on your blog to remind him what he's missing.

It might help us cope, too.

Thanks in advance.

By 'cope' I mean 'play with our junk.'

Other than that...

..I got nothin'.

My dear......first off let me just tell you how awesome you are. Making plans with your friends is the most sane perfect thing you can do right now. My advice is to not let him think your waiting around for him to call. And see SoLow's book up above...Ditto. I'm here for you if you need me. You just say the word and I'm on my way, your not that far that I can't come show you a Girl's Night out which you will always remember.

Be strong Girlie and everything will be alright !!!! I'm so proud of you and how your handling this.

Courtney Ryan:
Well its nice to know that YOU would have felt, thought and reacted the same way as me. Yanno, You can't jump into things in full motion like HE did and then just throw on the brakes like that. Women don't work like that.

Anyway, at least I do have an excellent group of friends that I will be spending my time with.

Thanks darling.
xoxoox

SoLow:
"Absolutely tell him that you know a west-coast-biker who will ABSOLUTELY KICK HIS ASS if he fucks with you again. (I’m planning on riding back to Philly this summer - maybe you could put me in touch with him???)"

That made me laugh out loud.

You've already figured it out, sweetie - you're just not listening to yourself. This is about HIM. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. You did NOTHING wrong. I've got similar baggage, from a similarly fucked up past relationship, and I have probably fucked up similarly FANTASTIC current relationships in a similar way. If it's at all possible for you to go through with it, I'd say this:
Absolutely talk to him if he calls.
Absolutely DO NOT put yourself at his beck & call.
Absolutely tell him that your REAL friends have booked time with you now that they found a chance to do so.
Absolutely tell him that his mixed signals FUCKED. WITH. YOUR. HEAD.

And last but not least...

Absolutely tell him that you're WAY TOO GOOD OF A WOMAN to put up with head games in any relationship.

And as a side note...

Absolutely tell him that you know a west-coast-biker who will ABSOLUTELY KICK HIS ASS if he fucks with you again. (I'm planning on riding back to Philly this summer - maybe you could put me in touch with him???) :)

I wish I could give you a hug, but a comment will have to do for now. Keep your chin up, Meleah! That which doesn't kill us can only make us stronger...

First of all apologies are not necessary. We've all been there if we want to admit it or not...Learn from it.

Second! Baby girl breathe...By the way, I think we're soul sisters because I could have written this post...ha.

I agree with Jennifer - if he calls and you want to go out, go. If he doesn't call or you don't feel like going out, hang out with friends and laugh. I'll add though, be cautious if he does call and don't let him play it off like nothing's wrong.

It comes down to trusting your instincts when the time comes and doing what feels right then. BUT please, don't walk away from this with a "thorn in my pride and an un-trusting, cold, broken, bitter heart.” That takes a lot of energy and that's energy you should be using on other things. If you walk away from this, just remember the lessons learned and apply them to the next one...there will be a next one.

Ricardo:
Thanks for the words.
I needed to hear a man's point of view.

Jaffer:
I told you I over analyze EVERYTHING.

Meleah you need to calm down ! You are going through a lot I know, and you deserve a break.
Take the day off to yourself - relax - be thankful for the other things in your life - your son, your dad, mom, a place to live, friends...

I am afraid I cannot tell you what to do. But like Speedy says - give it some time.
I hope things will work out in your favour.

"When he would fall asleep, I would leave in the middle of the night and retreat to my own sanctuary that is my home. Until, he specifically asked me to stay the night. Repeatedly. I, of course, obliged."

Nice bonus from a selfish male perspective.

"[Side Bar: I am not one of those girls who will call and ask where you are or when you are coming home. I am not one of those girls who expects, or even wants, a phone call everyday. I am not one of those girls who needs constant attention. I am just not that girl. "

HUGE BONUS for many men.

"Then he gave me multiple errands to run and jobs to do for him. I was honored to follow through and take charge. I had the time on my hands, and the idea of making his life easier was a gift I wanted to give."

That is a very nice quality to have but be careful when and with who you use it on. There's a lot of knuckleheads out there. Not saying he is, just saying in general.

“I still think your a cool chick…but, I think we just need to slow things down. This is going too fast.”

My male instincts say :-/ I have used this line.

"HE IS THE ONE WHO SAID “We could never really be close unless you tell me your story.” And then when I do TRUST that we will be CLOSER as a RESULT of me telling him The Story, the very story I never wanted to share…THEN HE PULLS BACK?"

This is why there are MAJOR stories that I don't share from my past until MUCH time has passed. Won't even put it on the blog.


"If I feel unwanted, I will not under any circumstances throw myself or force my way into a man’s world. Ah yes. I think I have finally mastered the skill of holding on to my DIGNITY."

Good. don't ever do this. EVER! He will use this to use you.

"If he never calls me again, I will graciously walk away with a thorn in my pride and an un-trusting, cold, broken, bitter heart."

NO. You hurt yourself this way. Don't do that. DO NOT!!!

There's more I can say but for now, give it time, enjoy yourself and let him make the next move. It will say more about him than you.

And MAYBE I will never hear from him again.
And MAYBE he will miss me after a week of silence
And MAYBE he never wanted to have a serious relationship
And MAYBE I misread all of his MIXED signals
And MAYBE he likes to mess with people's feelings
And MAYBE.......

GGOM:
I'll take that hug.

Selma:
"I hope he knows that really, you are one in a million and he is extremely fortunate to have met you in the first place."

I needed to hear that.
xoxoxo

Terri:
This really DOES suck.

Paisley:
I love you back.

well the only thing i know for sure is, that you sure as hell don't want any relationship advise from me... i would have already fucked it up and confronted him... that's just how i roll...

do what you feel is best,, you know him,, you know you... if it was meant to be it will be,, if not it wont no amount of playing or spacing or whatever will make any difference... of course,, that might just be some made up bullshit,, as i never tried it......

love you here if you need to talk....

This sucks. But I do think there's more to it than him just running away. He's probably very confused about everything right now and probably needs time to digest it all. If it were me, I would give him a little space. Not too much. Don't be his doormat. When he calls, be honest about what you're feeling too. He needs to know the sudden silence hurts. But maybe you guys can talk this out after a few days and become stronger for it.

*Hugs*

It's so hard to know which way to go with this. My gut feeling is that he is scared. He is probably shocked and angry at what happened to you and just doesn't know how to digest it. I'd give him a bit of time but not too much because he has to realise you are the same person you were before you told him 'your story.' I hope this doesn't change things between you - that would make me really sad. I hope he knows that really, you are one in a million and he is extremely fortunate to have met you in the first place. I'll be thinking of you, hon!!

If I was him - hummmm.
If I wanted space, I wouldnt expect to be chased. If I was chased, it would seem desperate - a bit off putting. But there is a balance! If you dont ring or talk then he will think you dont care! God this is tricky and you definately shouldnt listen to me!!!
I want to give you a big hug and tell you everything will be fine.

Billy W:
Thanks. I think?

CMK:
If the opportunity arises, I will say what's on my mind and what's in my heart.
If not? I will proceed as usual. Right?
Thank you for your continued friendship.
xoxoxox

Jennifer:
Agreed. Even though you know how hard it is for me to 'shut down' the relentless thoughts ever so invading my brain.

just be patient. he isnt the center of your universe. if he wants more dates, go on them. if he doesnt call laugh with your girlfriends over risotto and a movie. either way your having the time of your life dont ruin it with your tornado of thoughts. just go with the flow.

Did you answer your own question? Why not just say to him:

"As far as I can tell, we are BOTH ‘injured parties with a shit-load of baggage’ that have a hard time TRUSTING, BELIEVING and GIVING ourselves to other people."

And then just go on from there. I don't think it could hurt, huh?

I'm here for you, as always. xoxo

That's a Tuff one Meleah + It sucks.
Yeah talk is best -
But, I have no sound advice .
Good Luck!!

Michael C:
THANK YOU.
Except that HONEST COMMUNICATION may have been my demise.

Speedy:
And THIS is why I am EXHAUSTED.

Women "think" a lot!!! I am worn out just reading your thoughts Meleah.

Sometimes the dust just needs to settle. I don't think I could give any advice here, but maybe you two were going a bit fast. Things will work out ;-)

I would just say talk to him honestly about what you are feeling, if you both still can. If the feelings are there, there's no problem discussing it. Nothing is going to happen without open and honest communication.