Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

Or.

Other possible title(s) could have been:

“Want To Know How To Get From Cloud 9 To Devastation Nation – In Record Speed?

Or.

“Currently Gagging… In My Own Mouth.”

Or.

“Where Have All The Good Men Gone?”

Or.

“Run For Your Life! He’s A Sociopath And A Liar.”

Or.

“Surprise! He’s Engaged To Another Woman, And The Only Reason I Found Out Was Because He Was About To Be ‘BUSTED’ By Someone Else.”

Yep. As it turns out, ‘Super-Cute-Total-Nice-Guy’ was NOT AT ALL what or who he appeared and pretended to be.

[It’s the classic old adage; if it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.]

Remember when I said, “I am not exactly sure why, but he sort of reminds me of Clark Kent.”

Yea, well...NOW I KNOW WHY.

Because Clark Kent lived a double live. And so did this guy. Right down to his disguise. Except that instead of changing into a SUPERHERO, he turned into a SUPER-LIAR.

Apparently, when he told me that he was SINGLE…what he really meant to say was, “I have been in a long term relationship for over a year, and we just got engaged on EASTER.”

But he never said that. Until someone else was about to tell me.

Since I don’t like make it a habit of mine to date men that belong to other women…I hightailed from that hot mess just as soon as I learned ‘The Truth’ Friday afternoon precisely at 12pm.

Fortunately, I did not sit around all weekend pining or being upset over this.

In fact, I am proud of myself for getting in, and getting OUT as quickly as I did. I am glad I was the one who pushed the envelope. Otherwise I might still be in the dark. I am proud of myself for handling this like a grown up, even though every fiber of my being would like to expose and humiliate him all over The Internet.

Instead, I am going to walk away gracefully, with my head held high, and my dignity in tact. Like A Lady.

I am going to walk away thankful because I am not desperate to be in a relationship, or willing to put up with any such bullshit. I am going to walk away grateful to have such a supportive family and to be surrounded by an awesome group of friends. And, I am going to walk away THRILLED over the fact that I am not his girlfriend or fiancé. [Whew-insert huge sigh of relief.]

I wouldn’t be completely honest if I didn’t say, at first I was genuinely upset. But, I wasn’t upset over him.

I was upset over the fact that I had been BLINDSIDED. Literally, BLINDSIDED. None of my bells and whistles went off, and none of my red flags were raised. I felt confused having been that tricked. I started to doubt my own instincts. But after more and more details came forth, I realized I had been dealing with a real professional liar. No one would have or could have suspected this sort of outcome.

I am just glad I found out The Truth NOW. Before I had the chance to become emotionally or physically attached.

Hopefully, I will not allow this experience to ruin any future endeavors I may have with the rest of mankind.

Note To Self:
In the future…Do not date guys that do not have Cable. Or Internet. Or Television… in their homes. That does not mean they are well read. Rather, it’s a blaring warning sign. It really means that person is way too busy keeping up with all of their stories and lies, to keep up with celebrity gossip and or check emails.

I think I am going to spend the next few weeks deriving a system that will detect whether or not a man is single. Because they next time someone tells me they are single, my reaction will be, YEAH. RIGHT.

*REVISED*

Thanks to Ana aka  SomeGirl for making me my very own Clark Kent Voodoo Doll.

Now I really do feel BETTER!

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