Typical. Boring. Mind Numbing.
I literally spent the last 15 minuets of work yesterday sitting at my desk: with my bags packed, computer shut down, smokes in hand, and sunglasses on my face, while waiting for the ‘Longest Day In The History Of The World’ to come to an end. Much like a kid in a school classroom with their backpack strapped on, waiting for the glorious sound of the release bell to ring.
In light of my funky mood, after having one of those days, I am finding it difficult to be inspired to write. I am not suffering from the dreaded writers block. I just don’t feel like writing. Oddly, that last statement makes me feel incredibly guilty on some strange level.
Anyway.
Rather than get into the details about the ‘Longest Day In The History Of The World’, which also happens to be the very same day as ‘Anything That Could Go Wrong, Did Go Wrong’…
I will leave you with this little treat from my email inbox instead. It’s rather fitting for my current state of mind.
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $1.99 for the first 10 words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Steve’.
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