With winds gusting in excess of 80 MPH and a terenchal deluge (rainfall: 75 inches of water in less than 15 seconds) a Black Out was inevitable. However, being separated from my family and trapped in someone else’s house was not a favorable condition.
First of all, I am a baby. I am not ashamed to admit that I am scared of the dark. And I am a big ole crybaby when it comes to driving during inclement weather. (Or I would have driven home.) But for the reason that I have neglected my ‘best friend’ for at least a month, I would have never been in the situation I am about to discuss.
Yeah. Um.
When you are in a house that does NOT belong to you and yours, in the middle of a black out, and you don’t know where anything is, coupled with an alarm that would not stop ringing sirens, and a dog that would not stop whimpering, it is not exactly a good idea to try and use the bathroom.
Unfortunately for me, I had the urgent ‘gotta go-gotta, go-gotta go right now’ kinda feeling with no clue as to when the house would be illuminated again.
If you add up all of the aforementioned conditions, you can only imagine the kind of disorientation and sweating I started to experience.
Disorientation may induce bad decisions, like not asking the host if you can take a candle with you. Instead, I went in to the restroom blindly.
It wasn’t too hard to locate the actual ‘bowl’ but it was a little more difficult to find the ‘paper’. I used my hands to feel around the wall in hopes of not falling off of the bowl. After I did find the paper, I was met with the biggest challenge. Starting a new roll. In the pitch black. This particular roll did not have the little starter flap of paper for one to pull from. No. This roll was sealed shut solid all the way around.
What is a person to do?
1. Claw at the roll violently.
2. Attack the paper until you rip enough to create streamers.
3. Discard the streamers in the area where you presume the trashcan is located.
4. Proceed to dispense a normal amount of paper to finish your reason for being in there.
5. Apologize for the mess you made *later.
*Later = when the lights come back on, and the bathroom looks like this.
(minus Michael Keaton and the small children.)
Lesson?
Do not put off seeing your friends until the last minuet. This way you don’t have to go see them on a day wherein you have been forewarned about the bad weather that is on the horizon.
Or, simply ask for a source of light.
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