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4 is better than 40 (in smokes that is)

* I HAD TO SHUT OFF THE COMMENTS FOR INSIGHTING A RIOT*

Thanks for all the comments, emails, ass rippings, support and inspiration from the members over on the Qnet.

But I will argue forever that 4 cigarettes a day are better than 40 cigarettes a day.

Yes I made it 5 days, (with no smokes) and I slipped. I am over the guilt. But, OH HELL NO! I wont go through that again, not! right! now! I will follow my “new plan” as that suits me. It’s not that I’ve given up. I haven’t. 4 cigarettes a day, is better than 40 cigarettes a day. (wow that’s starting to sound like a Mantra, 4 is better than 40, 4 is better than 40, 4 is better than 40…wait… now I sound like I AM 4 (years old). I will shut up now. um…. No I wont!) With the help of the patch and hopefully the continued support of Qnet, maybe it wont take six months to get me down to none.

So, since my New Years resolution has been revoked, I need a new one. Okay, here it is. I will FINISH writing MY BOOK by January 2008. (and I will draw again, and more) So there it is. Take it? leave it? love it? hate it?

PS… this comment (well mostly it was the spelling of the words that KILLED me last night) will now and forever be HIJACKED as my own “YA DUM FUX” … Thank you for the best laugh!

Oh… my bad! I almost forgot, I can’t believe I almost ended this post without even a mention of something I have waited for um-like-a-YEAR….

Hello!! to the RETURN of the THE APPRENTICE I love to love and hate the Donald!

And if you click HERE! REALLY CLICK HERE! ON THE WORDS THAT SAY CLICK HERE for a video of my son Justin and his “Apprentice Commercial ? ”
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REVISED: VIA THE COMMENTS OVER ON QNET and a DARE / BET I HAVE GOING, I WILL POST EVER SINGLE CIGARETTE AS I SMOKE THEM ON EACH OF MY BLOG POSTS:
Okay? “Applehead” …I am going to smoke ALOTTED Cigarette NUMBER ONE right now at 12pm on my LUNCH BREAK at WORK!! I will post EVERY ONE, as to SEE if INFACT I can only SMOKE 4 a DAY!!!

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  • Anonymous

    I think you should be proud of yourself for managing to hold it to 4.

    I think it should be a huge confidence booster when you decide to make it zero (soon before it snags you back full-time). You’ve lived through at least 36 times per day when you wanted to smoke but couldn’t and you’ve survived nicotine withdrawal. That probably would have been unthinkable a few weeks ago. You’ve had a glimpse of quitting and I know we are tough enough to survive hell week and beyond.

  • Anonymous

    Let me just be honest – I was of the exact same thinking before. 4 was definately better than 40…one when I get up, one after lunch, one after dinner, and one before bed. Those were the biggies. I was quite pleased with that plan.

    I’ve tried this no fewer than 6 times over the last 3 years. Each time, my intention was to quit entirely but I *knew* I wasn’t strong enough and therefore, why go through the uncomfortableness? How much could 4 hurt me? I even told people that I had quit because I thought that 4 compared to the pack and a half I smoked was nothing. I practically wasn’t smoking after all!

    The problem is that every single time I tried this, I was never able to stick with only 4 for very long. Now, maybe you can do this and you’re stonger than me, but an addict is an addict. Period. I’ve *never* talked to anyone using this method who has ever been able to keep it up beyond a few weeks, much less quit smoking entirely.

    Sorry, but you’re deluding yourself. Go ahead, give it a shot. If you make it, then great for you. Each time I tried it and failed, it gave me more power the next time I tried.

    Now, I’m at day 70 completely smoke free. The first 2 weeks I tried the 4 a day until I took on a weekend project at home painting some rooms in my house. Forget 4 cigarettes….I was smoking like a freight train.
    The next Monday I started all over with the determination to fight this thing. I could be strong enough if I allowed myself to be, and I have been.

    This is the first time EVER that I’ve went more than a week completely smoke free. And at day 70, it feels absolutely fabulous.

    Good luck!

  • Anonymous

    Its a START… maybe…

  • meleah rebeccah

    DEFINITLEY a START

  • Anonymous

    All your doing by smoking 4 cigarettes a day is keeping yourself in the constant state of withdrawal.

    I’m not sure why you would want to do that. Read the information at http://www.quitsmokingonline.com . Maybe that will help change your perspective. It helped me tremendously.

  • Anonymous

    with all that ass kissing going on
    I feel so naughty now…I think I’m blushing. OK, not really

  • meleah rebeccah

    It’s good to be bad sometimes!!

  • Anonymous

    “I tried OTHER cold turkey and PATCH methods and it didnt work, Now, I want to TRY something NEW… IF THIS doenst WORK , It’s back to the planning board!!!”

    On that planning board of yours please write in big letters the following:

    “NO method will do the work for me. I am the one who has to be honest and understand that the only way to quit smoking is to not smoke another cigarette. I have to do it myself. No one will do it for me. No product will do it for me.”

    You can do it, you can!

  • meleah rebeccah

    does it have to be in permanent marker? cuz that shit is HARD to erase

  • Anonymous

    RE: isnt 4 better than 40?
    From MeleahRebeccah on 1/8/2007 11:32:29 AM

    “well that one I wont take cuz i know I will loose… only take bets I know I can WIN!! “

    Just say you don’t want to quit smoking. It’s okay. You have a choice. I think it was a mistake to bet you that you can stay at four. You were looking for someone to give you permission to smoke and you got it. However many a day you smoke, you are a smoker. That’s your choice.

    But when/if you want to quit completely, we’ll be here. Then you’ll get the TRIPLE DOG DARE!!!

    Qmember

  • Anonymous

    You will do it when you are ready. When you smoke think of me…
    I can dream thru you!
    Kar

  • meleah rebeccah

    best movie ever (Christmas Story)

  • Anonymous

    You’re making excuses to keep smoking. Look if you want to smoke, smoke. If you don’t, then quit.

    If you are constantly cutting down, you are in a constant long-term struggle with yourself, and in constant withdrawal. If you quit, you get it all over with at once and then you’re fine.

    It’s your call. Have you rationalized to your son how man cigs per day is “acceptable”? Just wondering.

    Good luck.

  • Anonymous

    Hey again,

    So now you’ve gone and smoked the first cigarette of the day….

    Pee-uu, girl!! You stink! (he he… just had to throw that at ya…)

    I’d absolutely loved to kick your ass into quitting!! That would be so cool!

    I’m sure this little experiment will help you see that 4 a day is not doable for long. And soon – there you’ll be at 20 a day, or God forbid 40!

    But you know, if you keep trying this way and that way and keep it in your mind at any rate – eventually – poof! you’ll quit.

    So I’ve got my eye on you…. I bookmarked your blog. Hang in there. I expect that Mr. Craving will show his ugly ass to you fast and furious – even (well, especially!) smoking just 4 a day!

    And ya know, if you can pull this off, well, more power to you. I would never in a million years have been able to do that.

    My ex-husband used to call me Apple Head, by the way. I guess in my youth I had a really round face…. He also called me Puppet Mouth (he says I don’t move mouth much when I talk – like French people he said), and Puddin-tane. I don’t think he called me Bonnie unluess we were fighting. 🙂

    So throw down! Hang tough. You are gonna have to use all the quit-smoking strategies to do this 4-a-day thing!

  • meleah rebeccah

    Applehead! is great! I’m liking you more and more !!

    And I had that one smoke and I’m alreay dying for another…

    shit….I AM an idiot

    but I am not ready to CAVE… oh no, Instead I’ll suffer until the 430pm drive HOME smoke

    and yes.. I smell BAD….

    keep remiding me of that!!

  • Anonymous

    Of course it is..I gather you are probably a busy person “hectic” and have some expedations to meet. You quit the way you need to. Hang in there!

    You’re doing good!

  • Anonymous

    Yes, go ahead and write it in permanent marker, it is one message that will never change.

    And do you know what? For all the fear you have right now about quitting (and that is really all that is stopping you) the day will come that you will realize that life without smoking is way, way better than it ever was while you were smoking.

    Especially when you snuggle up with your beautiful son at night and know that you don’t smell bad anymore and how proud he is of you. And you won’t have that guilt anymore either about being a mom and smoking. It’s really awesome being smoke-free.

    Now just do it, will ya?

  • meleah rebeccah

    and now I feel like shit!

  • Anonymous

    You ever stick your tongue to a cold fencepost in the middle of winter?

    🙂

    Harry

    Likin the blog baby

  • meleah rebeccah

    ralphie ralphie… I cant put my arms down!!

  • Anonymous

    I think that quitting smoking is a whole lot easier if you don’t play mind games with yourself.

    You CAN quit smoking.

    (you’re not any different than anyone else here no matter WHAT you tell yourself)

  • Anonymous

    For all the fear you have
    right now about quitting (and that is really
    all that is stopping you) the day will come that
    you will realize that life without smoking is
    way, way better than it ever was while you were
    smoking.

  • Anonymous

    I just wanted to say that I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I’m 36, and have smoked since I was 12–for me one and a half to 2 packs a day of full flavor menthols. This last year especially I’ve had many quit attempts and failures. I’ve done the patch, the gum, the lozenges. My dr. says he won’t prescribe Zyban for me since I’m naturally pretty hyper. I started on Chantix on December 18 and started this last quit on December 26th. I’ve been nauseous off and on, and the drs. office said that that could be a side-effect of the Chantix, so he cut my dose down. By last Wednesday night I found myself crying uncontrollably. I lasted until the next day, when my dad was taken into the hospital. God, I tell you, the last thing I did before driving off to the hospital was grab a pack of my daughter’s cigs (that’s another issue!) and a spare lighter. Since then I’ve been smoking 4-5 a day–which, like you said, is a LOT better than the 40 I used to smoke. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this, and hopefully we will BOTH be able to quit eventually.

    Take care,

  • Anonymous

    I just saw your thread and you had so many replies, I didn’t know if you were still reading them or not.

    I just wanted to say that I am doing the same as you. I cut back to a few a day. I made it 6 days and the depression for me was so bad that I couldn’t take it; I thought if I can just smoke a few a day and try to break some of the triggers and associations with smoking that in some small way it may make it easier for me. I’ll take whatever I can get.

    I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand and hope and pray that it works for both of us. I am going to try to read Allen Carr’s writings; a lot of people has said that has helped. When I quit this time, I did not prepare myself or plan this quit at all.

    Hang in there and hopefully we will both be smoke free soon.

    Q-mail me anytime.

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